"We’re in a time where sex is spoken about: #metoo, the orgasm gap, non-binary sex education, speaking out so sexuality won’t be defined by bad experiences."
After a case of workplace slut shaming, armed with a desire to change the way we think about sex, Georgia Grace canned her corporate gig, became a trained Sexologist and now she spends her days helping people reclaim their sexual identities.
Speaking to Twenty Something Humans, Georgia talks about her constant pursuit for sensuality, some of the most common misconceptions she's come across and offers her top tips for having mindful sexual experiences.
What led you to quit your corporate gig in pursuit of a career in sex and intimacy?
A lifetime of interest in the way we connect, relate and have sex. When I was studying journalism I worked at a community radio station and most of the work I produced was on sex. Once I graduated I numbed this passion and did what I thought I should, commit to a 9-5 job.
I was really into it for a few years, but after a trip through South East Asia, a case of workplace slut-shaming and a detachment from pleasure, I resigned.
I started studying at the Institute of Somatic Sexology with a strong desire to change the way we speak about and engage in sex.
What was the best thing that you took away from this experience?
I started to believe that I deserve pleasure. This goes beyond all-over-body-orgasms and is a part of how I live, where I relax, when I work, why I move, what I choose to eat, who I spend my time with. And that this is a multifaceted but deeply connected part of what it means to be sensual to me; I can be professional and sexual. Assertive and Empathetic. Open and have boundaries.
I’ve learnt a lot about what really turns me on – I hope to do the same for people I work with so that sexual identity can be integrated into life and not saved for when it’s deemed appropriate or safe. In this current sexual revolution I want to see and contribute to making sensuality normal, acceptable, beneficial and accessible to all.
Tell us about some of the programs that you're running at The Indigo Project at the moment.
The work is immersive and experience driven, where you can really get an embodied sense of who you are and what you want, we call this “somatic”. The programs are tailored to individuals, couples or groups and help people to meet or reclaim their sensual identity. I’m in the middle of the 6 week Pleasure course that’s all about bringing more pleasure to your life, enhancing sex and sensation. It’s a space to breathe, move, sound, feel and connect with people.
Do you think the current dialogue that we have around sex is having a negative impact on our individual experiences?
So far, we've failed to teach anything beyond risk aversive or reproductive sex in education, and we leave people to rely on media images. No longer are young people heading to the bookshelf, pulling out the dictionary flipping to “s” and looking up the word sex. They’re turning to Google, to the internet, to porn; this has become their new sex ed.
There are many damaging and false images portrayed in mainstream / hardcore porn and media. There’s no negotiation of consent or protection, it's normal for people to orgasm from intercourse alone, women are the object in fantasies, there’s a construction of desired body shapes and censored / photoshopped genitals, no hair or mess or menstrual blood.
Where in “real-life” sex, there is potential to be more innovative, more creative, more exciting, more surprising than porn will ever be. It’s important to have more open and real conversations about sex and sexuality as it can be transformational not only for an individual but for society.
Sex has been thrust into the limelight recently. We’re in a time where sex is spoken about: #metoo, the orgasm gap, non-binary sex education, speaking out so sexuality won’t be defined by bad experiences.
We are meeting and reclaiming what sex means, what great sex means. In this time of brave truth telling, and whilst we have a platform it’s important we need more than just freedom from harassment and abuse, we need pleasure in relationships with ourselves and others. It begins with integrating it into our dialogue and education so people feel equipped to make informed choices.
"It’s important to have more open and real conversations about sex and sexuality as it can be transformational not only for an individual but for society."
What has been one of the most common sexual misconceptions that you’ve come across during your time as a sex educator?
There are two:
Sex = penetration
The narrative that sex begins with erection and ends in ejaculation is common. Along with this, many believe that women climax from penetration alone. But actually, only a minority can. One landmark study found that when masturbating, 95 percent of women reach orgasm easily and within minutes. Another study found that when women pleasure themselves, almost 99 percent stimulate their clitoris at some point. Why do we still associate sex with penetration?
If sex = penetration that excludes a whole group of people who don’t have sex in that way. For example, how is a lesbian couple to know when they’ve had sex? How are people who don’t like things inside them to know? Or someone who’s experienced assault and doesn’t want to acknowledge it as their first time?
What if you could say you’ve had sex once you’ve had an enthusiastically consensual, highly pleasurable desired experience, that may or may not end in climax?
2. “Is it normal that…”
This question is the root of questions I hear every day “is it weird that I want to *** with ***”, “my body doesnt *** when I ****”
If everyone is willing and enthusiastic about being there, there is consent, no unwanted pain, and everyone is free to leave whenever they want, you are allowed to do anything you want. There is no kind of 'normal' sex.
What are some of your top tips to encourage more mindful sex?
Be curious and listen to your body
Focus your attention through your senses(not just touch)
Observe thoughts without being attached to them
Bring attention to how and where you feel sexual
Be patient and kind to your body, make it an experience not a performance
Practice! What you practice grows stronger, by practicing embodied understanding of sex, pleasure and consent, your sensual self will also grow
What could someone expect from one of your sex and intimacy sessions?
Every session is different, some common expectations are:
ask for and receive pleasure
develop a heightened sense of sensation in their body through breath and movement
let go of shame and have healthy relationships
apply mindfulness in sex, sensation and pleasure
have great sex
learn the art of mindful touch
understand turn-ons, turn offs
deepen connections with others
learn sexual anatomy and the anatomy of pleasure
be guided by desires
understand the role of consent and impact on pleasure
map out pleasure points in their body
...to name a few
What’s the best song to listen to when you’re getting sexy?
Music turns me on. I actually have a playlist and struggled to limit it to just one. Here’s my 6 most recently played songs…what do these songs say about me sexually?
Crooked Colours, ‘Flow'
Unknown Mortal Orchestra, 'So Good At Being In Trouble'
Pete Josef, ‘Colour'
Elder Island, 'What It's Worth'
MOVEMENT, 'Like Lust'
Who was your celebrity sexual awakening? (mine was Anthony Minichello).
I’ve was never into celebrities but they did make me sexually inquisitive. My first memory of this sexual awareness was watching the Titanic on repeat for the build up to the climax, the car sex scene. I was fascinated by how they interacted it looked highly pleasurable, completely consensual and desired by both.
To find out more about Georgia, and her sexual intimacy coaching sessions, visit www.georgiagraced.com.
Kate Neilson is the founding editor of Twenty Something Humans. She likes spending time under the doona. She feels awkward writing about herself in third person. Lurk her @katiepotatierose.