Sometimes I wonder how many people in my life have treated me like a test. They want to try being with a nice girl, someone nurturing and homely. The type of girl that no one would want to steal from them. A safe bet.
Sometimes I wonder if I'm a test dummy. A test, because they'll try me a few times and then move onto another when I don't bubble or burn or turn the right shade of blue; a dummy because I fell for it.
Sometimes I wonder who really has the problem in this situation. Is it those who don't really see me, or is it me, who isn't letting herself be seen?
Sometimes I feel a crushing force on my lungs; for a few moments I cannot breathe because of the fear that I will never be enough.
Sometimes I feel like I'm plucked from the tree. They take a bite and throw me away. You could have just left me in the tree. I didn't ask you to pick me, I was still growing.
Sometimes I feel sick about the time I dedicated to caring about the small, insignificant thing that you did to me.
Sometimes I hope that I'll be kinder to myself.
Sometimes I hope that the cycle will break.
Sometimes I hope that I won't always be too much.
Not all the time, just sometimes. I wouldn't dare let you be an all the time thought.