One Friday night, after an absolute shit of a week, I found myself in a super expenno but otherwise unremarkable cocktail bar in Newtown with a couple of pals. It wasn’t the first time I’d been to the bar; in fact, it was the site of one my more ‘memorable’ dates. Over G&Ts with my pals, I learned that one of my companions had also been taken to the same bar on a first date…with the same bloke.
Corey* and I met on Tinder sometime towards the end of second semester last year and we got off to an absolutely bonzer start (by which I mean he told me I was funny, which is about all I need in order to fall in love). After chatting with my friend Rachel**, the other (un)fortunate dater, I learnt that we were taken on eerily similar dates.
The bar was his idea on both occasions. We met at the station, he was running late after he’d chastised me when I told him that I thought I’d be running a little behind time. Red flag alert. Rachel met him at the bar, when she messaged him to let him know she was there he replied with “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” which is a pretty good indication of his sense of humour (it was shit; he wasn’t funny). He’d brought us there for because they had “2-for-1 cocktails, and I like to splash the cash on a lady.”
He told me about how he’d come out of a three-year relationship earlier in the year and went on to outline some of his disaster dates that he’d been on during his tryst with Tinder (I sincerely hope I became one of those stories). To Rachel he said that he was new to Tinder, which she now knows was a bald-faced lie, given my meeting him some months before on that very platform.
Following the bar, both Rachel and I were treated to romantic walks around the Quadrangle at the University of Sydney. Old mate LOVED the grandeur of his university and couldn’t wait to show it off to this schlep from UNSW. He even told us the same stories while we walked. You could probably map out the places and coordinate them with his story. It’s absolutely wild.
Then there was The Kiss. Both my kiss and Rachel’s kiss took place in the dead centre of the Quad. WHO DOES THAT?! I have discussed this at length with Rachel, and we have agreed on the following things: it was hot, but not in the sexy way, in the seriously-why-is-his-breath-so-hot?! way, and his pointy nose kept on getting in the way (to his credit, I did find this very funny and endearing at the time).
Neither Rachel nor I ended up having any sort of substantial relationship with Corey. I did go on another date on him (I had bought a book that I thought would impress him, on the off chance that he might comment on it when he picked me up – he didn’t notice it and I hated it) but we quickly realised we didn’t actually have all that much to talk about and ended up just macking on in the park while people on Segways passed us (embarrassing).
He must have clicked that Rachel and I were friends a couple of days after their date, because he’s since blocked us both (and I’m gutted about it). I felt weird about the fact that my friend and I had macked on with the same bloke for a little while; how come it took as long as it did for the story to come out? Was she worried that my response was going to be volatile? Would it have been? Probably. And for goodness sake, why? Why on earth do I get so funny about boys like Corey, when what I’m really fighting over is a soggy pizza crust?
I’m reconciled with it now and, at the very least, Rachel and I both got funny stories out of it. But if he managed to take two gals who knew each other on the exact same date, surely there’s others out there? Does this date sound eerily familiar? If yes, hmu, we’re thinking about starting a book club.
*his name wasn’t actually Corey, but I feel like Corey is a good name for someone who is a bit of a dick – sorry to the Coreys of the world
**not her real name
Taylor is an Arts student at UNSW She’s only just getting around to her ‘rebellious teenager’ phase, at the ripe age of 22. She likes the birds and bees (the ones with wings, not the sexy kind), performing interpretative dance routines while she tidies and writing love letters that she never delivers. You can lurk her @taytray.