The other week I went to brunch with an old friend. The kind of friend you can see once every few years and pick up things where you left off. Simple pimple. Love those people.
We were enjoying an all-too-typical smashed avo and soy latte (I see you rolling your eyes… naughty…), cracking open the memory jar and dishing about our careers, relationships, families, travel destinations, the whole sh’bam!
Then suddenly, during my last sip of coffee, she dropped a bombshell that brought our brunch to a screeching halt.
“Soooo Toby and I have decided to open our relationship,” she said with a cheeky, yet cautious smile.
My jaw hit the table. I was flawed.
I quickly regained my composure and replied with a polite but obviously rushed, “Oh… how… progressive of you both…”
Now don’t get me wrong, I like to think of myself as a progressive, forward thinking Millennial but I couldn’t help being shocked by this announcement.
We unpacked the idea together; what it meant for her and her partner, the positives, negatives, challenges, everything. I asked her a ton of questions. Would she get jealous? What about physical safety and STIs? Will you always be in an open relationship from now on? Can I have that last bite of your smashed avo?
SO MUCH TO KNOW!
One thing’s for certain, I’m one jealous little pocket rocket who wouldn’t last 10 seconds in an open relationship. I’ll cut a bitch if they take a pass at my man…So, perhaps my discomfort was purely because this was such a foreign concept to me?
Some say open relationships are a cop out. It flies in the face of commitment to another person and the challenges that come from being in a relationship; especially when things become less exciting behind closed doors (I'm talking about sex, people).
Others say monogamy is unnatural. They say humans have an inherent desire to sexually engage with others regardless of your relationship status. It's fun, interesting and very 2017.
At the end of the day, you do you, people! Whatever makes you happy!
Now back to the café. As our conversation rounded off, brunch had become a late lunch and we decided to call it a day. I’m not one to indulge in gossip (HA! I really, truly am), but I honestly cannot wait to see how this situation pans out. Would it be for the better, or worse? Who knows? But I'll be all ears at our next annual brunch, that's for sure.