Waking up next to a stranger that you’ve recently fornicated with is one of the most awkward experiences that you’ll ever encounter. Sure, last night they were no stranger to you. The two of you, momentarily, were very close. You shared your first names, hometowns, phone numbers and a few bodily fluids. That’s got to count for something, right?
But the next morning, when you roll over and see... (what’s their name again?), tangled between your sheets, things start to feel a little different. You immediately regret all the choices that you made last night and start to worry that you may have offered them your hand in marriage or something equally as terrifying. Like everything in life, one night stands have their ups and downs, here's some pros and cons to prove it.
PRO: YOU GOT LAID!
High-five to you! Getting laid is sometimes the most important thing in our lives. We often prioritise it over food or water...(not alcohol though, that’s how we got in to this situation in the first place!) So congratulations on getting yourself some action, either way you’re probably feeling pretty chuffed about yourself and so you should. It’s a hard world out there and (for once) you came out on top, or maybe on the bottom, but that’s your personal business really.
CON: FINANCIAL BURDEN
It’s not always cheap having a one night stand. I don’t mean like, paying for sex, I mean more along the lines of paying for drinks, a cab ride to their place, which is ALWAYS like fifteen minutes away from the bar and then the costs involved in trying to get yourself home the next day. Your ‘cab’ money quickly turns into ‘kebab’ money when you’ve been boozin’ and all of a sudden you’re running on ten-bucks and your phone is on 2%. The worst. To avoid this, try and score a home ground game, then you’re really winning because the next morning you can roll them out of your own bed, spin them around three times and send them on their merry way. No, don’t do that.... that’s mean.
PRO: FINANCIAL GAIN
Again, I don’t mean getting paid for sex. Although I hear it’s a very lucrative business. While sometimes a single night of passionate sex can be costly (as per above), other times you can actually save some mullah. Quite often your suitor, whether they be male or female, will offer to cover you for the night. They will woo you with drinks, pay for the taxi and if you’re really lucky, they’ll pay for your happy meal. Just remember, just because you took their drinks, that doesn’t mean that you owe them anything. If they’re a bit creepy about it, take the first few drinks and then politely call it a night.
CON: THE AWKWARDNESS OF WAKING UP NEXT TO A STRANGER
It’s going to be uncomfortable for you both, keep that in mind. If you’re staying at their place, don’t bang and bail. This person has been kind enough to let you share their bed. Sure, you were nice enough to let them share your body, but the least you can do is wait for them to wake up. You’ve most likely woken up with a hungover haze of confusion. The last thing you feel like doing is pretending to be asleep for the next hour while they’re off in a deep post coital slumber. But do be a good sport and wait it out, you might even score a free breakfast out of it! On the other hand, if they’re staying at your place you need to be hospitable. Sure you might not remember their name, or you might not be interested in seeing them again, but we're not talking about marriage here - just an offer for a lift home and maybe a shower.
PRO: A POTENTIAL RE-MATCH
The good thing about partaking in a one night stand is that sometimes, they don’t have to last for ONE NIGHT ONLY. If the sex was good and the banter is on point, why not give it another go? Or several? It’s not often that you’ll meet someone that you not only have mind blowing sex with, but also someone you can actually stand to talk to outside the bedroom. Don’t discard every one night stand as disposable, there just might be a diamond amongst the rough to be found.
CON: THEY MIGHT BE A CLINGER
There’s nothing worse than bringing someone home for a quickie and then in the morning discovering that they have quickly morphed into a stage 5 clinger, whilst you're quickly realising that you're just not that into them. I mean, you’re not even Facebook friends yet.
So how do you avoid this? Be clear from the beginning. Unrequited love has its ways and it’s not to be reckoned with. Let them know that you’re only after a one night thing, not after you’ve banged them, because you’ll come across like a dickhead, but beforehand. That way, you can read their body language and see if you’re both on the same page and if you’re not, then maybe just settle for a night of cuddles. You may want to have sex with them anyway, but it’s really not worth the incessant text messages and tears, trust me.
Image: Alex Jack
Kate Neilson is a twenty-something list maker who is still figuring out what she wants to be when she grows us. At the moment 'Twenty Something Humans' is her baby and parking fines are her worst enemy.