Ahhh, the festive season is in the air. Whether you love it or hate it, there is a strong certainty you’ll be face up on the couch wishing you didn’t eat so much ham, rubbing your little belly while you wait for your food coma to pass.
What better way to help you avoid your family than to watch some classics in between Chrissy naps? Eat, movie, nap, meat-sweats; repeat. Here’s our top 6 for whatever mood you might be in:
If you feel bad ass, watch Die Hard
There are two types of people in this world, those who think Die Hard is a Christmas movie and those who are wrong. Young Bruce Willis takes on some terrorists while trying to patch things up with his estranged wife. This movie has bad guys, guns, bombs, broken glass and John fucking McClane. Yippee-ki-yay mother fuckers!
If you feel like you need a good cry, watch Love Actually
You’re naturally a Hugh Grant fan and you’ve been known to practice your British accent in front of the mirror. You’re a crier, you’re an eater – easily relatable to Bridget Jones. This movie is perfect for those who need a therapeutic cry. Even if it is Christmas. Fuck it, let those tears stream down your face.
It's sad, but realistic and ends on a fairly decent note. A must watch this Christmas. Plus, we love Uncle Billy and we hate Uncle Jamie.
If you feel like your family doesn’t like you, watch Home Alone
Ever woken up on Christmas and wish your family had left you behind? You’re the black sheep of the family. As soon as the niceties have been completed and your tummy is full, you race back to your bedroom and watch Home Alone on loop. What could possibly be better than watching an 8-year-old fend off two dumb-nut burglers with hilarious booby-traps? Ha, booby!
If you feel nostalgic, watch Miracle of 34th Street
This is the type of shit you have playing when your family are all cozy on the couch, sitting in front of the air-con because it’s too fucking hot outside to play cricket. It’s all about restoring your belief in Santa and having your hopes and dreams come true. You pretty much turn back time and remember when Christmas was actually fun. It’s also totes appropriate if you have 56 of your lil cousins over.
If you feel more naughty than nice, watch Bad Santa
The type of person that watches Bad Santa, definitely gets turned on by “mall Santas” and wishes they were a naughty Klaus so Santa could spank them. Billy Bob Thorton plays a foul-mouthed, wise-cracking Santa who has a midget partner-in-crime. There is also a dumb-as-fuck 8-year-old kid who really believes intoxicated Santa is the real Santa. Watch for the LOLs, maybe not with your 56 lil cousins though.
If you took some acid and need a good laff m8, watch Elf
Having one of those Christmas Days where you don’t have family over and it is more about having a bloody good time with your mates? Elf is your movie. This movie doesn’t make any sense but Will Ferrell is one funny elf who leaves his home of the North Pole to search for his real daddy. Defs need to be high for this one folks!
There you have it; your Christmas is sorted. No matter how you spend the holiday season, there’s always time for a movie.
Amber is the kind of girl who looks like she has her shit together but really doesn't. She's known for her potty mouth, being inappropriately funny and for her love of doughnuts. Although she's new to the writing game, she is going to say what 'drunk you' was already thinking.