It’s that time of year again, ladies and gents. A time for pool parties, sandy toes and too many hoards of dudes shouting "suns out guns out" in public. Embarrassing, but we’ll move on. The Australian summer is one like no other, and I argue that responsible day drinking is an intrinsic part of our culture.
^^ Dats you ^^
To celebrate the ritual of being tipsy enough to dance to Sean Paul’s 2005 hit tune ‘Temperature’ at 3pm and then be sound asleep in bed by 9pm, I’ve got a bunch of delicious Aussie cocktails that range from a typical Sunday barbie with your mates to a brunch with your partners parents family friends (who are loaded btw).
The FRESH AF MIMOSA -aka ‘It’s my boyfriend/gGirlfriends mother’s birthday, trying to impress but don’t want to force alcohol on them at 11am brunch’ vibes.
A bottle of champagne (You can pick Moet or Diamond Nights, anything will do..just know they will judge you if you choose the latter)
1.Get some fancy champagne glasses.
2. Add a generous spoonful of frozen raspberries to the bottom of the glass
3. Juice your oranges into a separate cup or bowl
4. Pour the champagne over the raspberries to about half way then add the fresh orange juice over the top.
5. Now that’s classier than an Aussie Brekkie juice.
The I can’t deCIDER - aka ‘I don’t know if i’m ready to commit to harsh spirits just yet but I want to live out the cocktail by the pool fantasy in my own backyard’
1 can of apple cider
a sprig of mint
1/4 of an apple
lots of ice
(optional) a shot of rum...if ur feelin' bad
1. finely grate 1/4 of an apple
2. Fill your cup with ice
3. juice the lime over the ice and add in the grated apple
4. wash then rip apart the sprig of mint. If you’re feeling fancy, save a few whole leaves to put on top.
5. Add the cider and the rum. Give it a swirl and Robert's your mother's brother.
Note: Add umbrella for extra fancy points
The ‘oh goon god’ - aka ‘it’s 7pm and the gatho started at 3’ vibes
Half a watermelon
White goon (yes, this might seem hard to stomach now, but at this stage in the night, you'll drink anything)
Lots of Ice
1. Cut off the rind of your watermelon and place the flesh in a bowl.
2. Smash the shit out of it, or use a juicer/blender if you’d prefer the consistency to be as smooth as you are after a few drinks, playa. ;)
3. Chop the mint into fine little shreds.
4. Load up your glass with ice, then fill 1/4 of it with watermelon slush. Add in your goon and sprinkle with mint.
5. Mix it all up and mingle with the party guests.
NOTE: If I was being true to form the ‘oh goon god’ would consist of goon and any mixer available, but I think we owe it to ourselves to aim higher.
So yeah, suns out guns out, guys.
Laura is a 21 year old Italian grandmother who likes coffee, going to bed early and snapchat filters. Follow her on Instagram @laurajmasia