We all know that in this day and age you're not real friends unless you're Facebook friends. It's pretty fucked up, but unfortunately it's a fact. With so many 'friends' floating around on the internet (you've probably got over 500 Facebook friends, don't you?) it can be hard to distinguish the difference between your IRL friends and your internet friends… but some of us lucky bastards have both.
Here's how you can tell if your IRL friends are your internet friends
1. They tag you in memes that are "so you guys" but also relatable to 5.5K other people
We all have a friend (or a handful of friends) that tag us in hilarious FB memes, vids, GIFS that are just SO YOU. It gives you that warm and fuzzy feeling in your tummy to know that someone else knows you that well. They're a true friend. You choose to ignore the fact that it was also relatable to thousands of other people because only you and you BFF get super drunk together on the weekend and love eating garlic bread.
2. You automatically connect to their Wi-Fi when you go to their house
Nothing is more awkward than having to ask someone for their Wi-Fi details. Idk why, but it just feels like you're being a massive stinge for some reason. Nothing better than just walking in, kicking back and soaking up some of that free, free internet. That's real friendship. Download all your music/e-books/porn while you're there, because real friends let you stream.
3. You're not annoyed by their I-message conversations that come through in six single messages rather than one single message.
If you had a one-night stand with another human, only to have a stream on messages from them the very next day, you'd probably be pretty freaked out and brand them as some kind of clinger.
i had fun last night :$
Wat are you up to tonight!
This would be your face : | because that's just too much to handle from a stranger, but when it's your mate, you relish every message. Every ping gives you a rush of love. It's okay to be clingy with your friend, it's necessary.
OMG, I'm so hungry
Yah, me too! What did you eat today?
How'd it go with that guy last night?
Did you fuuuckk??
Did he poundya?
HAHAH lol lol lol
I'm getting a pizza :P
Do you still have my blackish-blue top?
4. You've got a flame with a number next to their name on Snapchat
This just means you're both ultimate snappers. The nice thing about this is that you probably don't filter your snaps to them, like you do when constructing your Snapchat Story, you're just full-blown yourself, double-chins and toilet seflies, you in all your natural glory.
5. Rather than liking their Instagram photo, you'll take a screenshot of it, send it to them in a message with a compliment about how good looking they are.
And you'll also leave a generic (flame) or (coloured heart) on Insta so people know that ur best mates.
I hope you’re now reflecting on your time spent with Internet friends and IRL friends. I hope you now send eight consecutive messages to your clique, reminding them of your neediness and fabulousness in a sassy flood of words and emojis. Most importantly, I hope you’re taking advantage of some free Wi-Fi, racking up a decent collection of soft porn for the wank-bank whilst streaming Solange and Snapchatting the whole experience.
Image: Alex Jack
Kate Neilson likes gin (because she is a psychopath) and smashed avo (because she'll probably never be able to afford her own house). She is the creator of Twenty Something Humans and can be followed at: @katie93rose