Over the past few months I’ve been shocked again and again at how many women I know who’ve done the deed. The dirty, the messy, the taboo… butt sex.
Having always thought of it as the one “out of bounds” area I’m realising I’m possibly more prudish than I’d like to think. So, being a complete novice in the anal arena I decided to do a little research and discover for myself and all the other amateur anal-ists out there, if there is an upside to doing it in the backside.
In 1992 a study reported that just 16% of 18-24 year-old women had tried it, which rose quite drastically to 40% of 20-24 year-olds in 2010. With Fifty Shades released in 2011 and kinky sex suddenly becoming the coolest thing since sliced bread, I can only assume this number has increased again since then along with the drastic increase in BDSM sex toys*. Can we attribute the rise in the kinky butt action to our sudden desire to try the taboo and dispel those pesky bedroom boundaries?
Gender studies and history professor Hugo Schwyzer attributes the increase to the frequency of which butt-stuff is shown in mainstream media and heterosexual porn. Schwyzer suggests that while it is becoming more commonplace, it’s worrying that young women may feel pressure from partners who now view it as a normal part of daily sexual life, saying that although some women may enjoy it, it was undoubtably “yet another manifestation of the pressure on young women to focus on performance rather than on their own pleasure.”
We are frequently seen to refer to the backdoor as a “treat” for our partner, a little birthday butt-stuff or anniversary reward for a well-behaved boyfriend. So are these 40% really only giving the backdoor a try to please their man or are there other factors that make it an appealing option? Surely it is time to get out of this mindset that it is for male pleasure and embrace the fact that women too can enjoy a little backdoor action. Embrace the power and intimacy it can give us in the bedroom.
There is no doubt that although it may be being depicted more and more in heterosexual porn, butt stuff still gets a pretty awkward reception. Understandably so of course, you rarely see anal depicted as a loving act in romance movies… "If you're a bird, I'm a bird… Now bend over and let me stick it in your bum Allie.” - Noah (did not say) The Notebook. Society still seems to reserve anal for porno’s and homosexuals regardless of its relatively common place in many a heterosexual bedroom. So with 40% of other women doing it maybe its time for all us novices to give it a crack… (see what I did there).
“Yet another manifestation of the pressure on young women to focus on performance rather than on their own pleasure.”
I’m not going to lie to you all and suggest you’re going to love it first time, it’s no secret that butt sex is going to be a little painful the first time around. Though many a girlfriend has described their first butt experience as “surprise anal”, I can promise that if you aren’t relaxed and coated in a large amount of lube then chances are you aren’t going to enjoy it. Showing your partner that you trust them enough to partake in the taboo is a massive deal and he certainly isn’t going to want to screw it up by going in all guns blazing, hurting you, and ruining any chance of round two. This level of trust is sure to create a new level of intimacy in the relationship and rest assured that it is an entirely different sensation to usual and he will want to put it in your vajayjay again.
We all like to spice it up in the bedroom every now and again and there’s nothing like indulging in something that is still seen as a little mysterious and taboo. Although women don’t technically have a g-spot in their behinds, anal action does stimulate the g-spot from the opposite angle and you may be one of the lucky women who enjoys it just as much or even more than 'the norm' and possibly achieve an even better orgasm.
Now if you don’t enjoy it or have no desire to try I definitely am not suggesting you do it just because he wants too. Not all women enjoy the backdoor and if you aren’t comfortable with it or simply don’t enjoy it then that’s your prerogative (cue a little Britney). The backside can be an intense power-play for both parties in the relationship, while its powerful for him as he’s in quite a domineering role it is also powerful for the woman as she usually dictates the pace and lets face it, it’s up to you if it happens in the first place.
*True story - sales of light BDSM-related products: crops, whips, handcuffs and blindfolds are said to have doubled - if not tripled in many sex stores around the world.
NB: Don’t let the old “I can’t get pregnant up the back door” bullshit stop your from wrapping up. Getting pregnant isn’t always the worst things that can happen from sex guys. ALWAYS put it on to get it on regardless of the hole it’s ending in.
Image: Alex Jack Photography
Anna Wall is a self-confessed hedonist and self-appointed travel expert. She drinks coffee until its appropriate to move on to wine and believes that there is nothing more satisfying in life than good wine and a good book. She's scared of balloons, the dark and of growing up.