Foodie Horoscopes

October 23, 2016

2016 has been a smashing year for food trends, and lets be real, you’re more likely to rake in those insta likes if you’re #ontrend. But look, sometimes it’s hard to choose just the right trend to try. Maybe you’re not sure if you’ll like it, or may it might just not fit your general #aesthetic. Either way, we’re trying to make this a little bit easier today. Just match up your star sign to your food trend horoscope and you’re good to go.


Aquarius (January 20th- February 18th)



Aquarius’ think outside the box. They’re curious about what life has to offer and always have a thirst for more. Instead of just having churros and ice-cream, Aquarius’ could find love in the churro-bowl ice-cream trend. Bondi's Milky Lane has created the viral Facebook favourite and stuck it on their menu. This red velvet churro bowl is next level.



(image @milkylanebondi)



Pisces (February 19th - March 20th)



Pisces are the most intuitive of humans, and hence are natural born artists. They’re imaginative and not confined to the same thought bubbles are most are. That’s why Pisces should try the viral soup dumpling. Although the giant soup dumplings are not available in Australia yet, their smaller siblings are found at most dumpling joints.

(Image @drchia instagram)


Aries (March 21st -April 19th)



Cold drip coffee. Just like a cold drip coffee, you’re strong courageous and daring. You don’t have time for the mid-morning cramps that hot coffee can often bring. For the best cold-brew in Sydney, head over to the Paramount Coffee Project in Surry Hills.

 (Image; Paramount Coffee Project, )


Taurus (April 20th- May 20th)



Sushi Burgers. Ahh Taurus. You guys are the most stubborn and independent lil’ bulls around. Fuck the people who say that sushi burgers are a weird combination of culture and flavour. Go to Melbourne’s Japanese Cafe Restaurant J for Australia’s best sushi burger.


(Image; Japanese Cafe Restaurant J)


Gemini (May 21st- June 20th)



Gemini’s are the social butterflies that seem like they’re getting constant life HDs  and still smashing out the vodka sunrises every weekend. They’re a foreign combination of flavours and texture, that just somehow manage to work. Just like new social media sensation, matcha. Word on the street is that Perth’s Little Matcha Girl is the place to go for the widest selection of Matcha Lattes and treats.

(Image; @littlematchagirl instagram)



Cancer(June 21st - July 22nd)



Typical Cancer babies are home bodies oozing with creativity. Why go out for a trendy meal when you can just make it at home? That’s why your trending meal horoscope is a rainbow grilled cheese toasty. Be spontaneous in your comfort zone and throw in some food colouring with your cheese. Why the fuck not?


(Image: PopSugar)



Leo (July 23rd- August 22nd)



Leos are all about the motto ‘go big, or go home’. They’re fierce and bring their A-Game when it comes to how they’re portrayed on social media. That’s why these guys will go for the biggest trend of 2016 - dramatic milkshakes that are too large and impractical to actually consume. Who cares about the logistics? As long as it's  #ontrend #onbrand #aestheticlylpleasing.

For a wide selection of ridiculously decorated and delicious milkshakes, pop in to The Vogue Cafe in Sydney (image: @thevoguecafe)


Virgo (August 23rd- September 22nd)



If I had to call it, I’d say the mumma figure of your squad is a probably a Virgo. They’re reliable, responsible and will always remind you to eat your veggies. That’s why Virgo’s are cauliflower rice, a delicious fibre-packed alternative that’ll make your social media followers believe your a legitimate #health nut.


Libra - (September 23rd - October 22nd)


I swear every Libra I have ever met has been the most kind hearted, loveable person I have ever met. The only issue with Libra’s is that they’re so eager to please that they just can’t say no, and often get a little bit too tipsy. That’s why you guys are 2016’s best alcohol trend Frosé! This is a delicious blend between Rosé and a 7/11 Slushie, making it absolutely perfect for summer drinks. If you want as much Frosé as possible, head over to Pelicano Frosé Garden Terrace for Frosé on tap!


(Image @pelicanosydney)


Scorpio (October 23rd - November 21st)



Don’t fuck with scorpio. You guys are strong, intense and down to fight anyone in a car park. This stems from a raw ambition which lets you take on challenge after challenge. That’s why you guys are the coveted Raindrop Cake. They’re tricky to make, and sometimes, tricky to eat. If you want to try this Japanese creation, head over to Harajuku Gyoza in Brisbane’s CBD or the Sydney Night Noodle Markets (image; @harajukugyoza)



Sagittarius (November 22nd- December 21st)



Sagittarians are always optimistic. They’re bright balls of energy that light up the room when they bounce in. They have an open mind and are always down for new experiences. That’s why you guys are rainbow art lattes. You’re the little kick the average joe needs to start their day, but with a little added creativity. Just add a few colours into you/your barista’s milk jug, swirl it around and pour as normal.


(Image: Laura Masia)


Capricorn (December 22nd- January 19th)



If you want a work-out buddy, you should ask a Capricorn. They’re responsible, disciplined and are dripping in self control. That’s why they’re Sweet Potato Toast, a delicious whole food alternative to bread. Just pop’ it in your toaster a couple of times and they’re good to go. Just remember to cut big pieces so it doesn’t lodge underneath the bars in your toaster. Speaking from experience.


(Image: @annisk)



 Laura is a 21 year old Italian grandmother who likes coffee, going to bed early and snapchat filters. Follow her on instagram @laurajmasia

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