When you're too polite to say: "Actually, can you fucking not?"

September 26, 2016

It’s one thing to say please and thank you, to let the older gentlemen take your seat on the bus, to smile and generally be a good human being, but letting a stranger jack off in front of me because I was too afraid to “interrupt” him was the breaking point before I realised that I might need to re-evaluate my views of "being polite."

 

 Kudos to you Mum and Dad, you clearly raised a gal who says her "pleases and thank you’s" and minds her P’s and Q’s. but at some point we should probably be taught that it is actually more than okay to say “I’m not interested," “put your cock back in your fucking trousers," or more simply “no".

 

Only my inebriated self will be able to tell you how exactly me and my friend ended up surrounded by an impressive collection of antique paintings, discussing politics with a particularly strange English gentleman. Only he will be able to tell you why he deemed it appropriate to remove his junk and began to touch himself. All while maintaining the normal level of conversation and eye contact with a newly added groan here and there.

 

(WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF)

 

The more important issue remains that I deemed my reaction to be the appropriate one, and feared upsetting HIM or making HIM feel awkward and though I’ve had mixed responses to this story, there has been more than one other person who has said that they too wouldn’t have known what to do and would have ended up reacting in the same way that I did… that is to cease making eye contact and continue discussing the implications of Brexit.

 

This may be an extreme example, however our inability to be rude and our obsession with saying yes, happens everyday. It’s the reason why we’d rather give out our phone number then just ignore their calls, take on that extra task at work when we are already snowed under or laugh at sexist jokes because we don’t want to be a buzz kill. It’s the reason why I’d rather let, aptly named, Jack touch himself in front of me rather than confronting the cock in the room and possibly upset him.

 

"It’s the reason why we’d rather give out our phone number then just ignore their calls, take on that extra task at work when we are already snowed under or laugh at sexist jokes because we don’t want to be a buzz kill."

 

It comes down to our inability to recognise our own self worth, stand up for ourselves or recognise when we ought to push for something because we have genuinely earned it. Regardless of the situation, be it at work, dating or awkward social situations, we are taught to please and accommodate - to an extent that causes our own dissatisfaction. We say ‘please’, ‘thank you’, ‘we’d love to’, and ‘yes’ as automatic responses before actually realising the implications or impositions it will cause us. So when do we realise it’s ok to say no and not feel guilty about it?

 

We need to be aware, and comfortable in our own self worth, be honest and don’t apologise. Know that saying no to sex won’t make them think of you as a prude. Know that saying you aren’t interested doesn’t make you a bitch. Know your limitations at work and realise the value of doing one thing well rather than 10 things poorly. Know that admitting you don’t find the sexist jokes funny doesn’t make you any less of a “cool girl”. And I promise if ever faced with an unsolicited penis again I will tell him, politely, to please place his penis back inside his trousers… and in the words of Lilly Allen, fuck you very, very much.

 

Image: Alex Jack Photography

 

Anna Wall is a self-confessed hedonist and self-appointed travel expert. She drinks coffee until its appropriate to move on to wine and believes that there is nothing more satisfying in life than good wine and a good book. She's scared of balloons, the dark and of growing up. 

 

 

Please reload

Recent Posts
Please reload

Soul Boner GIF.gif

Kill some time...

browse our archives.

RELATED POSTS
Please reload