Some kids grew up being taught not to talk about sex. As children we are shielded from breasts as they bounced onto the TV or told to go to bed when a sex scene came on, even though we all secretly snuck back out to watch on from the cracks between the door.
Fair call Mum and Dad, watching American Pie at the age of five probably wouldn’t have been the best thing to lead us into a well rounded sexual education, but as we get older, when we should be talking and learning about it, we are still faced with these social constructs that have us believe that we shouldn't be talking about 'it'.
You talk in hushed whispers to your friends in fear an 'adult' will overhear you conversation about blow-job, you desperately google any snippet of information about penises or vaginas and try to find tutorials on what this “sex” thing is all about. The only avenue you discover that seems to show you what exactly happens and how best to do it is a wondrous, sexy, exciting thing called porn. Wonderful! Finally you understand! That’s how women and men look, that’s how big their boobs, vaginas and penises are, and that weird thing she’s doing to his bum is probably exactly what all guys must like.
Depending on the type of education that you were exposed to you may have been lucky to have gotten a little more instruction than a big- breasted “teen” groaning and writhing away on a porn set. But should you have been exposed to a stricter education and perhaps not been as keen to google porn as I was - do you just wander blindly onto the sexual playing field, terrified at the concept of the mysterious unknown? This dirty, taboo thing that you shouldn’t speak about is suddenly at your finger tips and you’re left feeling clueless, terrified and as if you’ve committed some unspeakable act.
Sometimes we're still encouraged to think of sex as an act made for two people who care about each other and used for the pure act of procreating. You can enjoy it in private but just don’t talk about it. Are we still living in a day where we can’t openly talk about something as natural and wonderful as sex?
At no point am I advocating that we should all discuss details in depth about our latest one night stand or tell our mates intimate details about what about our partner likes or dislikes but being comfortable enough in your own skin to be able to openly talk about your own body and sexuality should not be something to be made to feel dirty about.
These lessons that we learn as children about how sex is viewed on a public scale, are impacting the way we view and talk about sex as adults. We grow up being told it's an adult thing, as teenagers we are told it’s dirty and dangerous because “you will get chlamydia and die”. By the time we are adults it has been so ingrained in us as dirty and taboo, that even if we do want to discuss it we fear other people’s reactions and judgements of us, and so keep furthering societies prudish expectations.
At what point as an adult can we realise that sex is wonderful, beautiful and it should not be something we shy away from talking about?
Anna Wall is a self-confessed hedonist and self-appointed travel expert. She drinks coffee until its appropriate to move on to wine and believes that there is nothing more satisfying in life than good wine and a good book. She's scared of balloons, the dark and of growing up.