It’s easy to be happy for your friends when something great happens in their lives, that is, if it’s already happened to you first. Otherwise, your happiness lasts for about thirty seconds and then you become immediately consumed in jealousy.
You love your friends, their happiness is crucial for your own, but there’s just something inside you that clicks, a pang of self pity, probably somewhere near your self destruct button, when they beam with pride at yet another successful job interview.
How do you deal with this? You pretend. Otherwise you look like a huge dickhead and no one will want to be your friend, ever.
We're at a time in our lives when our ambition levels need to be at full capacity. We need to fight hard for the experiences that we need to enter our chosen field. The reality is though, that some people have a little more fight in them than others.
It’s super hard when you feel like you’re at a loose end with your degree or job and your friends are killing it. They’re getting flown to LA and networking over lunches, while you’re seriously considering dropping out of uni and taking up a lifestyle of sleep ins and gin and tonics.
Feel sorry for yourself for about 30-seconds and then pick that bottom lip off the floor. Your time will come and the chances are that they have probably worked harder for it than you have. Find something that you want to do, put that fine tooshie to work and it will happen for you too!
You know when your friend meets that perfect person. You can’t believe how well suited they are for each other and it’s great, because their last partner was a massive fuckwit with a penchant for stealing.You spent months telling them ‘there’s someone great out there for you’, ‘there’s plenty of fish in the sea’ and then, they found that perfect fish. This is what you’ve both wanted! So why do you feel a little bit off now? Because you’re still fish-less and now you have no one to complain with.
Your friend is moving onto bigger and better things (hopefully in the pants, if you know what I mean) and you’re still dating disappointing duds. Don’t fret though, now it’s their turn to spin a bunch of cliches your way because ‘Mr or Mrs Right is just around the corner’ and if they’re not, then we can always revert back to our original gin and tonic plan, it’s not going anywhere.
Moving out, usually means moving on. You’re leaving your childhood behind and transitioning into a life of expensive rent and cheap wine.
It’s so easy to be jealous of your friends that have their own houses, they have freedom! They’ve really got their shit sorted. They can eat what they want for dinner, have people over as they please and talk loudly about blow jobs in the privacy of their own lounge rooms.
You’re sitting on the couch watching re-runs of QI and explaining that you had to ‘crash at a friends’ last night, when you were really out having a seedy one night stand with that older colleague of yours (who still lives at home with their parents FYI). Aren’t we getting a little old to have to lie about that kind of stuff? Save some money and move out as soon as possible. Your sex life depends on it.
Living vicariously through your friends Instagram feeds is a common occurrence for those of us who couldn’t get our shit sorted to get out there and live the dream. This is the one thing that I’m openly jealous about. When a friend returns home from their travels, darker in the skin and wiser in the soul, I listen to their tales with a chip on my shoulder. “Er, your life is so good, I’m so jealous, but this summer I learnt how to make those cool leafy things in the coffee!”
The good thing is there are no means tests to go traveling. Just work as hard as your friends did, save as much as they did and you too can go on the trip of a lifetime.
Keep in mind, jealously, while at times can be ugly, is also a good thing. You’re only jealous of your friends because you love them and want to be like them. Jealous motivates you to get off your arse and do something that just might make someone else jealous at some point. That’s the goal.
Image: Alex Jack