My vagina is not public property

July 31, 2016

It’s not always easy being a vagina, I mean life is pretty tough for the little guys. The waxing, the plucking, the bleeding, the fucking and then we go ahead and cramp the poor little sod into tiny, scratchy lace undies all day. RUDE.

 

Our poor little noo-noo goes through all this and then we decide to grow a little person inside of us.

 

There is no denying that women are pretty exceptional specimens. I mean, creating tiny humans, just by having a little horizontal fun and then basically just surviving for 9 months. Great work! Pat on the back, buy yourself a smoothie or something sweet.  But unfortunately, there is only one way out for that little person and I can assure you I’ve heard enough stories and *unfortunately* seen enough images to scar myself for the rest of my living, breathing life. I know for sure that there will be a huge amount ofpharmaceutical assistance should I decide to go down that path.

 

Now I'm sure it’s not easy for a penis out there either, I mean especially looking like that… jokes, I love those things! However, you know what those lovely willies have that vaginas don’t? Freedom and I am not talking free-balling in the wind or loose jocks that y'all seem to love. I’m talking freedom from societies judgement. Want to grow your pubes? Embrace the natural. Want to sleep with a million girls? Stud. Don’t want children? Travel the world and live life to the fullest son.

 

Whether you’re yet to have a baby, or had a baby when you were young, or maybe you're just not interested, you will face constant scrutiny about your choices. Why? Because for some reason society still seems to consider a woman’s vagina and womb to be public property and up for discussion.

 

Take Jennifer Aniston for example. If you’re remotely up to date with what she’s doing post-Friends, you’ll know she has done pretty well for herself. The looks, the body, the money, the career… Jennifer Anniston has it all. Well, almost everything… she’s still not had children. Sad right? Her life must be totally void of true happiness. So let’s make it make it worse for her by questioning every glass of wine she turns down, every loose dress she wears and every ‘pasta belly’ that she gets. 

 

 

Not only is Jennifer Aniston constantly under scrutiny for not having kids, but when reports surfaced that she may be pregnant, the media then turned on her again saying that it was irresponsible to fall pregnant at her age and that she was putting her “miracle baby” at risk of complications and the higher possibility of disability. She just can’t win.

 

In a statement she wrote to the media recently she stated that she was not pregnant, but she was fed up. Stating that the way she is scrutinised and portrayed by the media was a “…reflection of how we see and portray women in general, measured against some warped standard of beauty.”

 

If you’ve been with your boyfriend for a while or are on the other side of 25, you've probably faced something similar. Strangers feel they have the right to ask us the most intimate question of all. How do you plan to use your womb? Let’s hope you answer “correctly” or let the judgment and comments ensue. I know I just love divulging to a complete stranger that I’ve been single for five years, can’t get a date and am beginning to think the idea of a couple of cats isn’t so absurd.

 

In a society that celebrates female politicians, Prime Ministers, ballerinas, CEO's and anything else they fucking want to be, why is our worth in society still based upon our ability or decision to make a little version of ourselves? Why are men not also accosted with these same questions? 

 

Julia Gillard; Prime Minister, politician, wife. And what does the media focus on? The absence of children, and her shoes.

 

George Clooney; Actor, filmmaker, academy award winner and activist. What do the media focus on? His films and awards. Weird.

 

In the words of the incredible Caitlin Moran “At the start of a conversation you shouldn’t be having to say “My womb’s all fucked up and I haven’t got a boyfriend!”. The status of your womb is no body else’s business and it is about time we stop thinking we have a right to discuss it.

 

Anna Wall is a self-confessed hedonist and self-appointed travel expert. She drinks coffee until its appropriate to move on to wine and believes that there is nothing more satisfying in life than good wine and a good book. She's scared of balloons, the dark and of growing up. 

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