You know when you're humming a weird little tune and you have no idea what the hell it is or where it came from? Chances are it's the opening ditty to a television show that you used to watch when you were a small youngling and your brain is desperately trying to make you remember it in an effort to sooth your jagged soul and take you back to a time when you were genuinely content. A time where you were happy eating cheese that peeled into string and you'd look to an episode of Pingu to calm you after a long day, rather than a glass on wine.
It was a simpler time. A better time. A time of Bing and fucking Bong.
At the time you probably didn't appreciate the joys of Tiny Planets. It was kind of something you just endured to get to the next episode of My Best Friend's an Alien or something equally as enthralling but now as you listen to the sounds of the binging-bonging future your heart grows a little fluffier like their flying couch. Bye Bing, Bye Bong.
Now let's take it back a little further to a time when we were probably still shitting ourselves. Sesame Street was always a crowd favourite and the theme song will always bring us the warm and fuzzy feelings but what may have slipped your mind are the educational tunes that prefaced the foundations of our ethical selves. We were taught, through sing-song about washing our hands, saving the planet and my personal favourite, healthy eating.
Oh and the freakin' Ning Nang Nong! What a place to live. The trees go ping and the teapots jibber-jabber-joo... sounds like such a fun place to be and the claymation is just wild! Makes me sad to think that people probably watch this now to enhance their nang or bong experiences. RESPECT THE SANCTITY OF YOUR CHILDHOOD PEOPLE.
I think we can all universally agree that Soupe Opera was just darn right confusing for a child to watch. We weren't impressed by the detailed fruit art, we were concerned how they were moving without the aid of human hands and the strange French 90's rap/opera music was just a little too much for us to digest. Watching this show was like figuring out what being on drugs would feel like, we just didn't know it at the time.
The world would be a much better place if we had more blokes like Oakie Doke around. Wasn't that slide like every kids dream??
He's always willing to go out of his way to help others EVEN THOUGH HE IS LIKE MADE OUT OF LEAFS AND SHIT AND LOOKS LIKE HE COULD BLOW AWAY ANY FUCKING SECOND. That's a real man, that is.
And who could forget being completely and utterly terrified when they heard this tune coming from the lounge room at night while you were lying in bed waiting for a demon to descend upon you...
Good luck sleeping tonight.
Sorry to have left you on such a sour note. That really wasn't nice of me. Keep your feelings flowing with some of these other classics from the past: Rosie & Jim (srsly wtf), Brum (that cheeky car and those weird English Folk), Angry Beavers (V. Funky. Those beavers were always getting up to no good), Fireman Sam (he's actually super attractive) and of course, who could forget the strange mesh of Australian and American culture in Little Elvis Jones and the Truckstoppers. Enjoy living in the past 90s babies, if just for a moment.
** I didn't highlight this one as I thought that perhaps it was a little too specific to my own childhood experience but this is a shout out to all the kids that were forced to shame poor old Maggalina Haggalina for not conforming to societies beauty standards during school choir.
Kate Neilson is the creator of Twenty Something Humans. She's a list maker and a booty shaker, she's still figuring out what she wants to be when she grows up.