An ode to pink food

May 1, 2016

Food has recently gone and got itself a little bit of a superiority complex, shaming anyone who dare reaches for its non-organic counterpart on the supermarket shelf.

 

“Don’t buy those cheap sausages,” Mr organic sausage says, “You should buy me instead. I’m full of organic goodness and the cow that died to fill my insides spent a year abroad studying at Harvard. I doubt that cheap and nasty sausage that you’re holding has ever read a book in its life.”

 

*chortle, chortle, chortle *

 

 

 

You know what Mr Sausage. I really don’t care for your attitude. Sometimes we can’t afford to pay an extra twelve dollars for an organically grown parsnip and sometimes we don’t want our food to be green, grey or varying shades of brown. I want pink food god damn it and I’ll be darned if you, Mr Sausage, can talk me out of it.

 

Pink food is a food group that we don’t often pay tribute to because it’s located towards the higher end of the food pyramid and we were always taught to steer clear of those evil processed sugars. I doubt that our parents were genuinely concerned for our health and wellbeing but rather, keen to avoid the shit storm of the sugar rush that ensued from two packets of Hubba-Bubba gooseberry flavoured gum and a bag of fairy floss (MDMA for minors).

 

But now, as consenting adults, we are able to take back control of our food choices, so why the hell are we still eating brown rice and tuna, people?

 

Strawberry ice-cream, raspberry jelly, musk sticks, iced vo-vos, those lollies that look like old ladies teeth, doughnuts, macaroons, wafers, Starbursts FUCKIN’ MARSHMALLOWS. Pink foods are the best foods and it’s about time that we starting treating ourselves to a daily dose of pink, because a pink edible necklace a day keeps the doctor away!

 

I do I wish I had the body of someone whose diet consisted of only green food but I sure as hell aren’t willing to give up marshmallows to get there. I’d rather look like a marshmallow than give them up.

 

Sometimes your body will tell you to fuel it will yummy sugars and tasty artificial flavours and who are you to argue with your own body? So, if you are feeling like something a little naughty for breakfast, lunch and dinner then why not go with something pink because nothing that pink could have possibly come from the ground and that makes it the perfect option for you when you feel like giving a big fuck you to overpriced spinach and onion smoothies.

 

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