• Ailish Parr

An apology to my bank account

Dear Netsaver Account,

We've had a rocky relationship now for almost nine years now because, at times, I forget that you have needs too; you're always susceptible to a marketer’s mercy.

I opened you when I was 14 years old: glassy eyed and full of good intentions. I promised to nourish you with the money I earned from my café job, where I earned $10.26 an hour. I would have a house by the time I was 17 – easy – how hard could it be?

At such a young age I was a savvy saver; I enjoyed watching my small savings grow.

But it wasn’t long before I was lured in by the consumerism monster who whispered to me every pay day about how much I needed the latest and greatest.

At 15 I signed (well, technically my Dad signed, but I funded) my first two year phone contract. Back then, $60 a month seemed like millions, but I would wander into my local Virgin Mobile store with the withdrawn funds, ready to pay my way. To this day, the telcos still rob me just shy of $100 per month. A bit of a price increase, you may be thinking, but you know, inflation and what not. This building on my savings thing wasn’t exactly going to plan...

At 17, I proudly sat my driving test. It cost me over $200. This consisted of sitting the driving test, as well as the piece of plastic we have to carry around to prove that we can get behind the wheel and enjoy an alcoholic drink or five.

With the responsibility of driving came the joy of paying registration and insurance, twice a year. Having a car is a necessary evil; it makes me think ubering everywhere would be the better option.

Although my Dad would constantly remind me that paying annually would save me $50, I had to constantly remind him that draining my bank account of anything over $400 at a time would hurt just that little bit too much.

I now resent the months of March and October because I know that I will receive a letter in the mail that I do not particularly want to open.

Just when I thought my savings account was looking slightly attractive, I was seduced by overseas travel and the cool experiences it had to offer. Sorry Netsaver Account, but I am about to deprive you of the money you thought was going to build you interest. You never really recovered from my first solo trip overseas.


Here, I was also introduced to my first credit card, lured in by the guarantee of travel insurance every time I'd jet off. The catch: I had to acquire one with a minimum worth more than my life (a bit drastic, but you get the point). Luckily for me, I grew up with a savvy saver for a father. He drilled into me before I could walk that credit cards are evil, but a good back up – only to be used if the world is ending.

The world hasn’t been close to ending yet, so I may have used it too many times in Dad’s book, making saving that little bit harder…

Now, I feel a slight pressure to look into moving out of home in the near future as 2019 is the first year I will pursue full-time work. At my age, my Dad was well on the way to securing a mortgage on his first unit… maybe avocado on toast really is millennial's downfall.

Recently, my rear brakes had to be replaced, with advice from the mechanic being to upgrade my 13-year-old car. This was not exactly the news I wanted to receive.

Netsaver Account, I am sorry. I am telling you now that we are about to enter another period of instability. Hopefully, in the future I will be less susceptible to a marketer’s mercy and maybe be able to replenish you with an inheritance from a long lost relative or simply just hard work from my new job.

At 22, I am writing this apology letter to you, because my 14 year-old self shouldn't have been so optimistic. Now, the idea of owning a house may be more realistic by the time I'm 70. Just know that we are due for a few more rocky years yet, but one day I will treat you right.

With love,

A millennial.

Ailish (eyelish) is never happy just sitting still, loves Audrey Hepburn, and is obsessed with Australian Story. She always makes time for coffee and socialising.

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