• Steph Hazelton

What's your guilty pleasure?

We all have them. They hide deep inside us. They seep in like water to a sponge; soaking into each dark and twisted place within us. They simmer there until we wring them out. It's not until we're alone that they come pouring out of us.

Guilty pleasures.

We're all aware of our own shameful pleasures, but it's not often that we speak of them, due to fear of public embarrassment or pure guilt. This pleasure, laced with guilt, slides freely through the blood in our veins when we cannot be seen, or heard, by others.

Thanks to a few courageous souls, who were willing to speak with me on this topic, you can peek into the personal windows of those brave enough to reveal their funny, strange, awkward and embarrassing guilty pleasures.

Afterwards, ponder on your own, but move beyond the bag of chips you can demolish in one sitting, or that one song that you always sing in the shower. Dig deep and dive into the revelation of your unique pleasures, have a laugh.

Like many people I have interviewed, you may be thinking, “I don’t have any guilty pleasures because I don't feel guilty about anything that I do." But behind social conduct and expectations, I’ll bet you a chocolate bar that you don’t know yourself as well as you think you do. I'm sure you hide something out of social acceptance, something that bubbles around inside you; an urge just waiting to be stumbled upon and embraced. That’s your guilty pleasure.

Here are some of the ‘less-traditional’ guilty pleasures that I managed to record.

“As a nurse, I really like sticking needles in people. I feel guilty because it hurts [them].”

“Fingering buttholes.”

"Picking at my eyelashes and seeing the loose ones come out. It has a slight sensation but the satisfaction lies in knowing there's no dead ones that can fall into my eye. It's kinda like that fresh feeling after shaving ya legs."

"I have really long hair and sometimes strands randomly fall and get sucked into my butthole. I have no idea how, but its so damn satisfying pulling the strand out. Just feels real good."

“I enjoy scrolling through Craig’s List personals, I’m pretty guilty because I have a girlfriend.”

“Getting into the annual competition of Eurovision. I just get way to emotional and into all the costumes and drama.”

"I love eating an entire giant jar of Nutella to myself in one sitting with a little spoon. Actually I don't feel any guilt about that..."

"I like to think of myself as somewhat of a 'lady' but I reallllly enjoy picking my nose in the privacy of my own bedroom. So damn satisfying!"

"Playing The Sims 3 as an adult. I just can't stop. Such a fucking great game! Sometimes I'll spend over six hours doing it on a rainy weekend. That's human hours, not Sim hours."

“Flexing in the mirror after a workout in different poses. I feel guilty because I’m THAT guy that everyone hates. I hate it too, but I also kind of love it…”

“Eating Mi-Goreng. I know I shouldn’t eat it, but I buy it in bulk and store it in my bedroom draw. I feel so guilty about it that I even hide the rubbish under other things in the bin.”

Next time you’re on a date or awkwardly making small talk with your housemate’s mate, ask them what their guilty pleasure is. It's a nice little ice-breaker and it's good to know that you're not the only weird one. Interested in knowing my guilty pleasure? Perhaps I've already told you...

Image: Kate Bath

Steph is a creative being whose clothes often fall victim to her art supplies. When she's not attempting masterpieces, you'll find her experimenting with every flavour available on her food. You can check out her art here.

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