• Amber Melissa

An open letter to those who have dated a dickhead

Dear you,

I want to start by saying how amazing you are. Our friendship has survived the ups and downs and we have supported each other every step of the way. We have grown up together and have shone a light on each other’s darkest days. We've always had each other's backs.

As outsiders looking into your relationship, everyone would think that you were a happy couple. Until the day it ended; nobody knew you were dating such a dickhead. Although you are hurting now, time will heal you and you will become a stronger person for it. I’m here to tell you what any friend would tell you – you deserve better. Yes, you deserved way better.

The toughest job of all is convincing yourself of this.

We've all been through our break-ups and our hearts take a hit each time which makes it hard to truly believe that you'll make it out the other side fully intact. That’s where I come in. If I continue to tell you, "you are a beautiful, intelligent, independent human" enough times, you will start to believe it. You will start to believe in yourself.

Whether you have dated someone who talks down to you, tells you that you’re a piece of shit or is always “out with the boys/girls”, the penny will eventually drop and you’ll realise you’ve taken their shit for way too long.

The hardest part about being un-happy in a relationship is the fear you will be alone forever or that you won’t be able to find anyone better. They continue to tell you that they love you and just for a minute things feel okay again. For a brief minute you think that you might be able to give it another go. This is what they call rose coloured glasses my darling.

Everything is going to be fine. You have the support of your family and friends and we will try our best to not let you feel this way ever again. But you need to promise us something in return and make the same commitment to yourself. Every day, look at yourself in the mirror and say the following:

  1. I am strong

  2. I am loved

  3. It will get better

  4. I am worth more than the way I was treated

  5. I will never date a dickhead again (you might, but that's okay because we can repeat the steps above as many times as we need to).

This letter is for anyone who is in a tough relationship right now, anyone who has had their heart broken and a reminder to those who are single who have had their heart broken along the way.

Kind regards,

Your future self.

Amber is the kind of girl who looks like she has her shit together but really doesn't. She's known for her potty mouth, being inappropriately funny and for her love of doughnuts. Although she's new to the writing game, she is going to say what 'drunk you' was already thinking. You can lurk her @amber_melisse.

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