• Adelaide Haynes

5 things you can do on Tinder that don’t involve having sex

Ah, Tinder. The little red flame that occupies our Friday nights in, sending our thumbs into spasm while we ruthlessly swipe through potential ‘mates’ and realise just how fucking shallow we can be. We’ve mastered the casual hook-up by now - Tinder has made that all very easy – but sometimes we’re not looking to be humped by a stranger. Sometimes we just want to eat brunch, get high or visit our local cat café. These are things that I’m often seeking in a potential match and the best part is, there are no drunken sexual escapades leading to an awkward morning after situation.


Last year I was living in Montreal, Canada, ‘studying’ on exchange. New to the city and filled with bright eyed optimism, I found myself on Tinder chatting up some local heroes. I came across Jerome, a 26-year-old brunch enthusiast, who was born and raised in Montreal.

We ended up going out for brunch twice and he showed me around all of the local hot spots. A personalised tour guide with poached eggs and caffeine goodness, that’s my idea of a good Tinder date. Nothing more eventuated. I guess you can’t build a relationship based purely on a mutual love of brunch, but I did discover some cool new parts of the city and I made a friend.

Network and make useful connections

Bachelor number two was Mitch. He wanted to offer me his local knowledge on the thriving weed scene. Whilst weed isn’t yet legal in Canada, Montreal is a bit of an exception. It’s not uncommon to sniff a whiff at 10am heading to the metro. Mitch had the connections and I had all the time in the world. Our Tinder date consisted of meeting at the metro, making small talk, smoking a joint and lying in the park for about an hour discussing if different species of trees knew they were different to the other trees. Then, I walked home with two slices of cheesy pizza in my hand. That’s a pretty darn perfect date if you ask me.

Discover a new bar

Bachelor number three was…well, to be honest I can’t really remember his name, but let’s go with something like Tom. Tom was visiting Montreal from Toronto and was having a night out on the town with some friends. Coincidentally, I was also having a night out with my friends and I was pretty damn plastered. He messaged me at midnight saying they were at a bar around the corner from where I was, so I grabbed my friend and off we went. From what I remember, he was hot AF. A few beers later, we found ourselves devouring some poutine at 3am. Poutine is the ultimate drunk food. Chips, gravy and cheese, and to top it off a random hotty that paid for it all.

Go to a Cat Cafe

Bachelor number four was Australian, a cat lover and new to Montreal. I was now the Montreal expert. The grasshopper had become the master of Montreal (and Tinder). I took him to a cat café in my neighbourhood. We drank coffee, ate pizza and took cute Instagram photos of cats, is that not the best freakin’ date ever?

Learn a new language

I’ve been studying French for three years and one of the reasons that I decided to go to Montreal was to practice and improve my French. And lucky for me, bachelor number 5 was French. We ended up grabbing a coffee and speaking French together. Well he spoke French and I swooned over his accent and said ‘oui’ a lot. Sadly, Guillaume was leaving to go travelling around Europe the following week, maybe that could’ve been the Tinder date that lead to sweet, sweet sex. But for now, I’ll settle with ‘practicing my French skills.’

Tinder may make us a little shallow at times, but it also makes us resourceful. Dating has become mission impossible, so if you’re not looking to gear up like Tom Cruise, at least you know there’s several other options that you can take when it comes to Tinder. If the date fails, at least you’ve got a joint or a cat to keep you company.

Adelaide is a twenty something and yes, that is her real name. She doesn’t go far without her Doc Martens and a skinny cappuccino. She loves travelling and thinks it’s the best way to meet exciting men (people). When she’s not at uni or daydreaming at the beach, you will find her writing on her blog A Worldly Addiction.

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