• Kate Neilson

I want to dump Summer

I'm having a difficult time with Summer this year. I guess we all get to that point in a relationship. In the beginning it's all fun and easy: hot nights in the ocean, warm days picnicking together, summer nights tangled half way through your sheets and then as time passes things just don't feel as easy as they used to.

I've been going steady with Summer for around two and a half decades now and I'm starting to question if we're really right for each other. I've found myself developing a wandering eye for his close mate Autumn, he's a pretty cool guy, we split a nachos once. I've let my mind wander to times spent with Spring, we always said that we were just friends, but maybe it could be more? I've even considered what it would be like to be with that bitch of a season, Winter - he's such a bastard and notorious for his icy heart but even he is more appealing to me these days.

Now it could just be the fact that I'm in the middle of moving houses and everything seems far more difficult when your lugging 10kg boxes down your narrow staircase; or perhaps it's just that we are growing apart, but I really do feel like my serious relationship with Summer has turned into some kind of fling, a casual arrangement. Best enjoyed when you're drunk and awfully hard to forget about when you get burnt.

Rather than just give up, I thought it would be a good idea to focus on the good things that Summer brings into my life - give our relationship another chance because I obviously still have feelings for Summer and he's super hot.

It would be wrong of me to give up without a fight. Maybe I just need to think about the things that he brings to my life.

I like that you force me to be overly-diligent with my personal hygiene. In the cooler seasons it can be easy to rug yourself in the same layer of clothing/blankets for days on end and the idea of de-robing to your skin layer for a shower is only bearable three to four times per week. Summer always encourages me to take a shower 3 times per day, wash my clothes after a five minute wear and the amount of time spent in the ocean is doing wonders for my skin. So, thank you.

Speaking of skin, I should also thank you for that healthy glow of sweat that you grace upon my face every day. Most couples get sweaty together from doing fun activities like dancing or jogging or hours of fantastic, earth shattering sex. You just give it to me for standing up out of bed in the morning. The healthy soft glow of a pregnant woman is your daily gift to me and you know, while I may not feel exactly like a pregnant woman, I'm sure there are some similarities between us with the unconfortable sweat patches and constant need for a mouth full of ice-chips.

You're coming from a place of love, I know this, so I guess I should count my blessings, right?

Hmmm let's see...what else do I like about you Summer? Oh, you feed me very, very well. Not in a creepy feeder way, but more so the variety of fresh fruits that you bring to my doorstep. I know that when you roll around, so too will the juicy mangoes and that's almost reason enough to stay with you.

I like that we're always drunk together, I like that you make it okay to eat zooper-doopers continuously throughout the day and I really enjoy your social media aesthetic but I just don't think that's enough for me anymore.

It's not you, it's me. I'm really not cut out for this season anymore. It was fine when we were younger; our lives were free of responsibility and I didn't care so much about the (sun) damage that you caused me but now I think I need to move onto something a little more serious. I need someone more serious and stable, someone to cozy up to at night. I want someone who is adaptable and ambitious.

I'm sorry Summer, it's over. I'm doing Autumn now.



Image: Gem van Heyst

Kate Neilson is a list maker and a booty shaker. She loves avo on toast (because she never wants to own property) and gin and tonics (because she is a psychopath). She is the creator of Twenty Something Humans and can be lurked @katie93rose.

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