• Twenty Something Humans

Looking beyond the physical

These days, it can be hard to discern between the people that want to get to know you and the people that want to get to sleep with you. Back in the good old days, before romance was dead, you could easily pick out someone from the crowd that was worth taking home to meet the parents.

Now, the lines have blurred. Even humans that are only up for a one-night thing are turning on the girlfriend/boyfriend vibes for the night; only to crush your hopes and dreams just 12-hours later when they forget your name the nest morning.They’ll spend a little more time and effort setting the 'fuck' up, which is confusing for us sensitive souls, because, for us, time and effort are often associated with feelings and emotions.

Look, just be upfront with us. We don’t always want to marry you. We don’t want to have babies with you. We sometimes just want to fuck you too.

Maybe it's time we stopped thinking with our boners and started looking beyond the physical appearance of each human to cross our paths.

Too often we get caught up in the way someone looks. The ‘Hot Girls’ are adored by men and hated by other girls and a good looking guy is idolised by all. As your parents always tell you, don’t judge a book by its cover. Sometimes there are more important things to a person than their perfectly sculpted glistening abs. For example:

They like to garden, or at least the idea of gardening

Hear me out here. I’m not saying that every guy I sleep with has to have a green thumb, but I do believe that someone that has the ability to get their hands a little dirty, whilst nurturing something into life, is a good sort.

Someone who cares about nature holds certain qualities that translate into good ‘boyfriend/girlfriend’ material. They care about things outside their own bubble. They’re probably a little more sensitive. They’re capable of committing to something until the end and it probably means they will make a good parent (if that’s something that you’re thinking about).

You haven’t got to worry about trying to find them when you’re both out, because they’re always somewhere close by

If he or she is trying to put themselves in your sights all night, that means they are keen. You haven’t got to be joined at the hip, but just being in each other’s sphere is comforting.

If you’re constantly darting your eyes around trying to find them, or check out who they are talking to, chances are they’re not that into you. It’s simple really, you like someone and you want to spend time with them. No game playing.

If it gets to the end of the night, you haven’t seen them at all and then get a text asking if they can crash at yours, it’s probably just a sex thing. If you’re okay with that then go forth and have great sex. If not, politely decline, head on home and tuck yourself into bed with a cup of tea. You ain’t nobody’s back-up plan.

They give good head

A friend of mine said to me that people that give good head, usually have the best personalities. I thought this was funny and maybe true to some extent. If they’re taking the time to go down on you, then that means they really does care about you enjoying yourself too- they're not just here to stab you with their pointy bits and be done with it.

​They are clear about their intentions

Males and females generally communicate in different ways. Both sexes just want to know what’s going on, but we have strange ways of telling each other this. Ladies are all about body language. Chances are, if we’ve gone home with you more than once, we probably like you (this isn't always the case, we're talking generally here ppl).

With guys though, it’s more about the words that are said aloud. If we haven’t told you that we like you, then you probably have no idea. This is where it gets twisted, though. We’re basing everything off the way the guy is acting, he’s kissing you, smiling at you, holding your hand, he must like you right? Well, not always.

Saying the words, “I like you” is kind of like signing a contract. You’re both finally on the same page. Without making it clear though, either party can pull a Snoop Dog and drop you like you’re hot, because nothing was ever set in stone.

You can laugh together

This is essential in any kind of relationship, whether it’s a long term or short term thing. You have to be able to have fun together. If it does eventuate into something more, then you need to know that you’re not going to bore each other when the crazy sex-fueled nights start fading, because they will.

They respect you

Seems simple and obvious, but it’s surprising how many people will settle for less. I think the problem is that people associate being respected with being in a relationship and sometimes forget that they deserve to be respected with any kind of interaction that they have with another human.

If you find yourself always making up excuses for their shitty behavior, then you can probably assume that they’re not worth your time. Respect yourself, respect your partner and don’t be afraid to walk away if you’re not getting what you need out of a certain situation.

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