Living on campus is like being a contestant on Big Brother
Living in a dorm will cater to the extremes of your social sphere. The experience will nurture your sense of fun, test your privacy limitations and cultivate a sneaky mind. Someone’ll walk in on you in the shower at least once, you’ll have all your forks stolen, and you’ll probably throw up in one of your own shoes - but oh, what fun it shall be.
And just like on Big Brother, you’re thrown into a social setting with a group of people you don’t know, and you’ll either love or hate them. Then, all of a sudden, you’re living like a game of Jenga, stacked on top (and sometimes inside) one another. But just remember, Big Brother is always watching.
Dormies are a mixed lolly bag of personalities: you’ve got the hot one, the smart one, the mother, the farmer, the butcher, baker or candlestick maker, and one or two minority stereotypes thrown in for good measure.
It’s always good to have a mix. The theatre students will make for a good time; it’s handy to have someone who knows a little about IT when your Mac starts shitting itself (again); and thank God for the paramedic students when someone is spurting blood onto the kitchen floor.
As much as we love our dormies (most of the time), the good thing about not being on Big Brother is that we can leave whenever anyone is giving us the shits. Which brings me to my next point...
You’ll want to nominate someone for eviction from your dorm on a weekly basis. It’s difficult living with people who might share different views to you, or who just won’t clean up after themselves.
It’ll always be something petty that sets you off. You’ll notice that someone has used some of your milk, and you’ll be sent into an uncontrollable rage that’ll most likely end up as a passive aggressive Facebook post.
Just thank your lucky stars you’re not stuck in this situation for three months, and the outside world still exists. Go outside for a few hours, take a chill pill and calm the fuck down.
The Diary Room
The one thing lacking from the dorm is a place where you can lock yourself away and release your bitchy rants. Unfortunately, this means that they creep out at drunken moments, which isn’t always ideal.
How do you fix this? Create yourself a quasi-Diary Room by confiding in a friend. Make sure you have that one special person who’ll open their bedroom door to you, put on a deep husky voice and say, “And how did that make you feel?”
Just make sure your door is always open for them, too, and perhaps invest in a furry, fun chair.
It’s a little known fact that we all enjoy some ‘companionship’ every now and then, but you need to ask yourself the question, “Am I doing this because I really want to, or is it just convenient that they live right across the hall?”
Inter-dorm relationships are intense from the get-go. You become an instant married couple (just add water), and then all of a sudden you’re evicted from the house (their bed), which means you get to sit back and watch them line up their next fling.
I mean, it makes for good entertainment for the rest of us, but do you really want your relationship to be making headlines? If you’re happy for everyone to know about your private life, then go ahead, be free and spread your... wings. But here’s a hot tip: realistically, it’s probably not going to work in the long run.
Friday Night Games
You'll always be drunk and sliding across a slippery surface on a Friday night (and Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Saturday). Sunday is your day of rest.
The highlight recap of your time in the house
Soak it all up, because it’s unlikely you’ll receive a neatly edited package to reminisce on your time in the house. It’s going to be a wonderful year: you’ll dress up a lot, cry a lot, drink a lot, laugh a lot and probably eat more pizza than you have at any other point in your life. But enjoy it while you can – it really is a once in a lifetime thing.
Kate Neilson is the creator of Twenty Something Humans and she's still figuring out what she wants to be when she grows up. She's a list maker and a booty shaker and can be found on insta @katie93rose