• Kate Neilson

The Broken Hearts Club: songs that will sooth your sad little soul

Heartbreak is one of the most intense and immeasurable emotions that you can experience because it literally feels like it will go on forever and ever. It causes you physical pain. It turns you into a shell of your former self. It's the worst fucking feeling ever. You can't fix it, you can't forget about it, you just have to wallow in your own well of sadness for a while and wait it out.

If you're recently heartbroken, we are truly sorry, we feel your pain and hope that this little playlist helps you to get those bastard tears out quickly.

Welcome to the club, we hope you don't stay too long.

1. So good at being in trouble- Unknown Mortal Orchestra

Listen to this song when you need to feel sad about how bad you are at being in love because all you do is get yourself into trouble. It's a long, sad, lonely time indeed.

2. Sigh No More- Mumford and Sons

This song gives you a little hope that one day, “love will not betray you, dismay or enslave you.... it will set you free.” I don’t really believe them, but it’s a nice sentiment.

3. When I first met your ma- Paul Kelly

This is the only way you should accept a declaration of love from any man or woman in your life. If they don’t make you feel as special as Paul does, they can GTFO.

​4. Let your soul be your pilot- Sting

When you need to cry at night because you’re feeling alone and there is no one to cuddle you. This song allows you to be sad, but also encourages you that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Sting is there for you, he says "let your tears be my tears too" and you've got a fuck tonne of those things, so why not give Sting a few to hold onto.

5. Not in that way- Sam Smith

Another one to conjure up a few tears at night. When you love someone that doesn’t love you back- the ultimate pain. Even worse, when they love you "as a friends." Shut the fuck up and move along please. I don't need your pity. I needed your tongue inside my mouth. NEXT.

6. Turn me on- Norah Jones

For when you’re thinking about them at night, with no pants on. Real love is Norah Jones, remember that. (Also, that Love Actually scene) :o

7. Every other Freckle- Alt-J

Because when you have sex with someone, it should be to this song. It’s just the right mix between intimate and raunchy. Again, for when you're thinking about them at night with no pants on.

8. These arms of mine- Otis Redding

Because sometimes all you need it a good old fashioned slow dance to pick yourself back up again.

9. Best thing I never had- Beyonce

Even if you still love them, pretend that you don't, at least for the duration of this song. The Queen knows how to heal a broken heart. You could always pull a classic Yonce and write a whole damn album about what a dick he/she is.

​10. Kissing You- Des Ree

This is for more crying. You need to do a lot of crying. This song is fucking miserable. Maybe listen to it when it's raining.

11. Talk Show Host- Radiohead

Because when you’re in love or left broken hearted, sometimes you don’t know how you feel anymore and you just want to come across as a mysterious, dark being who no longer gives a shit.

*You could also have passionate rebound sex with someone to this song.

12. Got to be real- Cheryl Lynn

When you've wallowed for a few weeks and you need to start perking back up again because you haven't been at work in a few weeks and your underarms are starting to smell a little bit like parmesan cheese listen to this song on repeat. It's your new ring tone, alarm clock and bed-time song. Cheryl will make you feel like a bloody queen and even though you might not be fully fixed just yet, you're well on your way when you get to this track!

Kate Neilson is a list-maker and a booty-shaker. She is the creator of Twenty Something Humans and has cried at least once while listening to each of these songs. Even the last one. Heavy days.

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